c h e r r y b l o s s o m

bonjour ~

Friends:

Where do i go from here ):

written on Thursday, February 4, 2016 @ 3:57 PM ✈

I've abandoned this blog way too long. I forgot that i even had a blog for my feelings. Funny thing when i was reading past posts that the second post made me felt like nothing has ever changed.

That was only last year 2015. And i wrote that i gave up. But do i really? It's weird that nothing has ever changed. My r/s with D has always been a roller coaster ride. Some days it's all loving and some days, it's completely opposite. I wonder what happened. i thought when you loved someone, you would go to the ends of the world for them. Do anything for them just so they can be happy. But i guess it's just me. Did i really gave up on D last year? No, i didnt. I stayed cause i thought he loved me. Maybe he did. or still does, idk. It's very sad when you have to end a r/s for something so stupid. Well. at least i thought we could fix things. And i still think we can.

I kept missing him, but i know i can't do anything. As im typing out this blog post, all i can think about is D. Like do i really wanna go on without him? I can't. i know if i try hard enough, i still know i can't. I dont cry anymore. But i still love him...

if you happen to read this, D, i'm still here for you. I'm still here waiting.... I need you babe. Come back ):

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stupid feelings

written on Saturday, May 9, 2015 @ 1:03 AM ✈

when you fell asleep, i observe how perfect your lips were, how peaceful you look. i don't know why must i be the one who care too much. why must i be the one who take things seriously. i want to be that girl who is so strong, no boys can fuck with her. but who am i kidding? i'm always weak.

when you're in love, you can feel if the person loves you. you can feel it from the way his eyes lights up when he sees you. or when you he is all excited when he is around you. i don't feel that at all?

you know what i miss? i miss his sincere tight hugs. he gave the best hugs. the warmest hugs ever. i miss how he is always there for me. i miss everything about him. but i know he doesnt.

how did he managed to change from somebody so lovable to somebody so cold hearted in such a short period of time? he is not the person i fell in love with about a year ago...

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Gave up

written on Sunday, February 1, 2015 @ 12:40 PM ✈

I give up trying to get your attention.

I give up trying to make you want me as much as i want you.

I give up trying so damn hard to make you fall for me.

I give up swallowing my pride just so we wont fight.

I give up trying to make you love me.

I give up trying my best to make you appreciate me.

I give up in everything..

You want me, you come to me. I had enough..

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Do you know?

written on @ 3:27 AM ✈

Do you know how it feels like having to feel that you're not important anymore?

Like yeah, you can make me feel so damn happy when we meet. But aft that, why do i have to keep fighting for your attention.

It's not the first time i waited for you to come home. I know you told me not to wait up for you. At least if i dont, let me know when you're back home. So i wont worry anymore. But every single damn time, when i told you to tell me that you're safe, you dont even bother. What? I dont matter anymore now? Even if im not your girlf, i still care ok.

I see, maybe i cared too much.

So goodbye.